


Nightmares

by darringtons



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angsty Schmoop, Cuddling & Snuggling, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 17:21:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18183530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darringtons/pseuds/darringtons
Summary: Sleep did not take everyone so pleasantly.Takes place directly following c2e55.





	Nightmares

Things are quiet inside the tiny hut from the moment it is cast around them. The battle took a lot out of everyone, and a good night’s rest is all any of them want.

However, sleep did not take everyone so pleasantly.

Fjord’s dreams leave him fitful – he’s fairly certain they’re just dreams, and not visions, though he is plagued with images of blood and water and that single yellow eye. Just nightmares. When he wakes with a jolt, no salt water in his chest, he is certain. Just nightmares.

The first time they all rested together inside the tiny magic dome, there was discomfort; it was _small_ , crowded. There was barely any room between them all, and after all their travels through towns, staying in separate rooms, sleeping in such close proximity was hard to get used to.

Now though? Now it was comforting. Especially after a fight such as this, it was nice knowing exactly where everyone was, being able to feel each other’s presence. Caduceus to his right, snoring gently. Jester and Beau right of that, sleeping with their backs pressed together. Caleb to his left, close enough that Fjord could hear him breathing. Yasha somewhere above them all, and Nott curled at her feet. Warm and safe.

He tries to settle back in, to let himself ease back to sleep with the Nein around him, but it doesn’t come so easily. He turns over to face Caleb, watching the wizard breathe deeply, in and out. In, and out. In. Out. It’s almost calming enough to lull him back to sleep.

Then Caleb’s breath catches, becomes quick and erratic. Fjord can see the pulse in his neck, beating unnervingly fast. Caleb’s brow furrows, his expression shifting to something adjacent to pain.

Fjord reaches out for him, taking his hand and squeezing gently. He doesn’t want to wake him if he doesn’t have to; he just hopes it enough to tell Caleb’s subconscious that, for now at least, everything is okay. After a moment, his breathing does even out. His eyes draw open blearily, then lock with Fjord’s.

Fjord considers releasing his hand, but doesn’t. Caleb doesn’t seem to mind, instead shifting his fingers until they’re laced together.

“Nightmares?” Fjord asks quietly. Caleb nods, and Fjord doesn’t press further.

They stay like that, in companionable silence, for a few minutes before Caleb speaks. “This battle… reminded me of a feeling I wished to never feel again.”

“That mind control shit?” Being mentally manipulated was one of the more unpleasant feelings for sure, and knowing even what little he did about Caleb’s past, he could only imagine how that felt for him.

“Ja, that too. But I meant…” He grew quiet again.

“You don’t have to explain,” Fjord said, slowly rubbing his thumb over Caleb’s. He knows Caleb’s relationship with fire is complicated. Not unlike his own relationship with water.

“Hurting people I care about,” Caleb said finally.

Fjord shook his head. “You don’t have to tell me,” he said again.

Caleb made a bitter sounding laugh. “You would not look at me the same if I did.”

“Whatever happened in the past is just the past, it doesn’t make a difference to me.”

“You say that only because you don’t know what I’ve done.”

“Caleb,” Fjord says. His voice is still quiet, but forceful. He tugs them a little closer together. “What was it you said your name was, Bren?”

“Ja,” Caleb says after a moment.

“Do you still want to be him?” Fjord watches as Caleb ponders the question, no doubt trying to figure out where he’s leading him. “Stop thinking so hard. Are you still Bren, do you want to be him again?”

“No,” he answers, shaking his head slightly.

“Then don’t be. It’s the past, let it stay there. Just be Caleb. Okay?”

Caleb nods hesitantly. “Okay.”

“Good. Come here,” he says, pulling him even closer, wrapping his arms around him. Fjord can’t help but smile at his scent – not so stinky as Jester would have everyone believe. He smells like incense, and a few odd spell components. Fjord couldn’t identify the specific aromas, but he smells distinctly like Caleb.

“Are you… trying to distance yourself from your past?” Caleb asks. “Is that why you hide your real voice?”

Fjord opens his mouth to answer, then closes it again without a sound. When he does speak, he drops the façade, let’s Caleb know his real voice. “It’s not so complicated, I think.” It doesn’t feel complicated, but he doesn’t know how to put it into words either. “Maybe when I find Vandren, then I can be me again. Maybe sooner, I don’t know.”

“And what if you don’t find him?”

Fjord ponders it for a moment. “I don’t think that’s an option. I need answers. It’s not the past I’m hiding from, it’s the future I worry for. Whatever plan It has for me… I don’t think I want it. But I don’t know how to escape it either.”

“I worry for your part in this too,” Caleb admits. “I don’t trust the motives of your patron, and I don’t want to lose you to it.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“ _We’ll_ do our best,” Caleb corrects.

“Yeah. We should try to get some sleep.”

Caleb nods, resting his forehead against Fjord’s chest. “Thank you,” he said after a moment.

“Always,” Fjord says. And then, “I’m serious about that. If you ever _want_ to talk about it, I’ll listen. And I promise you, whatever Bren did that has you so terrified, it won’t change how I feel about Caleb.”

Caleb said nothing to that, but settled against Fjord. It was short time before sleep took them both.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking about doing a companion to this piece, from Caleb's POV. We'll see if I actually get there.


End file.
